REVISION PLAN

Clear up time line
Clear up message, maybe focus of impact on experience
See if we can cut dead air
Cut back list examples and repetitive moments
Replace questions with section headers
Black screen with explanatory text?
Banner text across screen?
Attempt? to avoid obscuring her face
Emphasis in subtitles to illustrate raised volume or important key points
Highlight repeated phrases instead of repeating
Reflect emphasis and passion in subtitles perhaps even volume
Work on sequence of events and story structure
Splice out unnecessary audio and voice